Tag Archives: Exploration

Lessons from Spain

Lessons from Spain

I’ve been away for a while. We took a 15-day trip to Spain and Boston from mid-to late October, and the combination of preparing for the trip, taking the trip, and recuperating from the trip, not to mention the turmoil of the presidential election and its aftermath here at home, has meant living in a prolonged state of temporary chaos. I’m finally settling down a bit (albeit in fits and starts), and taking time to think about these past few weeks.

La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona

La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona

The trip was quite an adventure, and as with most adventures, I learned a few things along the way.

The first lesson involved packing for this expedition. Usually, when I take a long trip, especially to a foreign country, I pack a huge suitcase and check it in at the airport. This time, realizing that we’d be doing a lot of plane hopping along the way, and we’d be hard to catch, I worried about losing my luggage. So instead of a virtual steamer trunk, holding more than I could possibly use in two weeks, I traveled with a single carryon suitcase and a tote bag.

Wow! Liberation!

The experience made me think about my internal and external baggage. In truth, it’s the internal baggage that seems to result in the external. The fear of not having or being enough. Fear of boredom, of hurting someone’s feelings, of holding on to extraneous stuff ‘just in case.’ And carrying all of this internal baggage has consequences in the external world— bearing the physical and emotional weight of too much stuff.

We recently completed eight weeks of handling some of that baggage in our Creative Clutter Clearing mastermind. That experience was as liberating as traveling lightly, trusting that we have, that we are, enough.

How about you? What kind of baggage are you carrying? What is it doing for you, and what is it doing to you?

 

 

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Alignment

Alignment

I have a rather embarrassingly large shoe collection. Perhaps I can blame this on my mother—shoes and groceries were the only things she enjoyed shopping for, so maybe I inherited my love of footwear from her!shoes-in-closet

At any rate, as I was dressing this morning, I wanted a pair of shoes at the bottom of a five-box stack. I lifted the lid from that box (with the four other boxes on top of it), pulled out the shoes, and let the lid drop as I reached for a garment on the other side of the closet.

When I turned back, that stack of shoeboxes was no longer nicely aligned. I jiggled with the top boxes, pushed and pulled a bit, then realized that forcing anything on top wasn’t going to have any effect. I needed to get to the bottom of the stack and center the lid on that box. Once I did that, everything else fell into place.

It made me think of how I handle the issues that pop up in my life. I can shuffle and juggle and try to force differences on the surface, but if my internal foundation isn’t flat and stable, all the tugging and pushing and smooshing in the world isn’t going to make things smooth on the top. Instead, I have to make sure what I’m doing on the outside is in alignment with what’s going on inside.

How about you? Are there areas of your life where your internal self is at odds with your outer self? If so, what choices might you make to create more alignment between the two?

Seeds Into Flowers

Seeds Into Flowers

“Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower.”

Mixed Floral Bouquet

This quote by Shigenori Kameoka was another thought-provoking prompt in yesterday’s Purple Ink Café Writer’s Circle. It made me reflect on the way I mentally divide my writing between ‘business writing’ and ‘personal writing.’

Business writing, of course, consists of educational articles and blog posts, all of the verbiage that I create to populate my website, and emails and courses that have to do with my work as a creativity coach, hand analyst and mastermind facilitator.

Personal writing, on the other hand, encompasses journaling, self-reflection, descriptions of things I’ve seen that I want to remember, the random essay on something I feel strongly about, personal emails, and even the old-fashioned thank you note. Personal writing is more, well, personal.

Then it struck me that maybe these two parts of my writing (and my life) aren’t really that separate and distinct. The reason I do the work that I do is the same reason that I journal or touch base with friends or relatives—I want to connect. I want authentic relationships, both with my internal self and with other people.

All of my writing is, at its most basic level, an attempt to communicate. Even when I’m describing our upcoming clutter clearing mastermind, the point of that communication is to let the people who have a need for this service know it’s available if they’d like to participate. Is that communication less valuable, more crass, than a personal journal entry exploring my own feelings about my (possibly) extraneous possessions?

All of the seeds we carry in our hearts can become flowers. It doesn’t matter if the flower is a rose or an orchid or an amaryllis. Each has its own form of beauty, and each is worthy of cultivating, growing and sharing.

What seeds are lying dormant deep in your heart? What flowers might those seeds bring forth?

Rambling

Rambling

Just want to give you a heads up. This is a much longer post than I usually write. It marks half a year of weekly posts (week 26), so I decided to indulge in a bit of a ramble, and hope you’ll come along.

Yesterday, Kathy Kane’s Writers’ Circle opened a delightfully random trip into my past. She provided the perfect prompt—a YouTube video of Aaron Copeland’s composition, The Quiet City, coupled with the visuals of old photos and Edward Hopper’s paintings.

This is what came:

I don’t know how he does it. Edward Hopper manages to capture that loneliness that permeates the city, the country, the rural, the urban. Even when there are a number of people in the scene, each one seems steeped in solitude.

Minimal lines? Flattened compositions?

His work reminds me a lot of my life as a child in Richmond, California. We had a Chinatown across the bay in San Francisco, a long soda fountain in the supermarket, cafes with a counter and round, backless stools. Gas stations with two pumps (regular and ethyl) dotted Highway 99, the north/south route through the San Joaquin valley, where we’d travel to visit old family friends. The days of swamp coolers, when “Air Conditioned!” signs on movie marquees in that valley meant escape from the 100+ degree sidewalks.

Apartments had tile floors. The first home my parents actually owned had three bedrooms and one bathroom. A mother, a father, and four siblings lived there. A single black rotary telephone with a long nylon cord, a gas wall heater in the hall, and a battered secondhand upright piano in the living room. It felt comfortable.Black Rotary Phone

We had a washing machine, but we also had a washboard. It was a big rectangular wooden frame with a metal interior. At first glance it looked like an oversized grater, but the metal part consisted of horizontal ribs rather than holes for cutting. My babysitter would fill the sink with water, stick that washboard in, and rub clothes up and down the metal ribbing to clean them.

Our laundry was hung on a clothesline, which stretched from the porch to the fence at the other end of the back yard. It had pulleys, so you could pin a sheet, a towel, or a garment, then pull the top of the line towards you, and the garment would sail towards the fence. We could get two rows of clothes going at the same time.

Collecting our dry clothes reversed the operation, pulling the lines to the porch, unclipping the clothespins, dropping the clean laundry into a basket, and returning the clothespins to the clothespin bag. I remember that clothespin bag—striped blue ticking on a hanger, with the front hanging open like a kangaroo’s pouch. I wonder now how we ever got dry clothes, especially in the winter. Living across the bay from San Francisco, we had a lot of fog and a lot of rain. Even summer highs hovered around 70 degrees. The day the clothes dryer was delivered, my mother and sister rejoiced.

We were the last family on the block to get a television set. I was five years old. My dad didn’t believe in buying anything on credit. But the clothes dryer and the TV were two purchases my mom made on her own. We kids were always at someone else’s house, watching TV. Maybe that’s why she took that huge step. Or maybe she just wanted her own chance to relax after a long day at work.Console Television

The day the TV was delivered, I was swinging on the front porch rail. Our porch was painted brick red, with black wrought iron handrails. The delivery men huffed and puffed a huge crate up the steps and into our living room. Television sets came in cabinets back then, like a major piece of furniture. You could close the wooden doors and hide the screen.

But because it ran on tubes rather than on solid state circuits, there had to be space for what seemed like dozens of those glass cylindrical tubes. The TV was at least 24 inches deep. And when the picture went fuzzy, we would pull the tubes out of their sockets and take them down to the supermarket, where there was a ‘tube tester.’ We’d stick each one in the proper sized socket, and when the defective culprit was located, we’d buy a replacement tube, take it home, insert it, and hope for the best. Usually, it didn’t help, and the whole process would begin again.

There were also buttons for horizontal and vertical hold. The picture would sometimes roll like the photos on Instagram when an enthusiastic user is viewing photos. The vertical hold would stop the flipping so we could actually watch the show. Horizontal hold kept the dark slashes of zigzag static from streaking across the screen.

When I think of how different my life is now, and how different the childhoods of my grandchildren are from my own, it boggles my mind. Even my profession didn’t exist then. Coaching was limited to sports, and science-based hand analysis hadn’t been discovered.

And at the same time, my Connections Life Purpose did exist, and I’m grateful for the chance to live it even more fully now, in 2016.

How about you? Where have you been? What childhood experiences and memories continue to impress and shape you? And where is your Life Purpose calling you to go?

Discovery

Discovery

Isn’t it a treat to watch a child begin to explore the world?

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When I take a walk with my grandchildren, I see my surroundings in a totally different way. Seeing my world through their eyes is a whole new adventure—hearing a birdcall and discussing whether it’s a dove or a crow. Perceiving a dandelion as a precious flower, carefully plucked by chubby little fingers, rather than viewing it as a noxious weed. Watching two women with a baby in a stroller walking on the other side of the street, and making up stories about their lives. How big is their family? Do they have to go to a job every day? Or is that grown-up a parent staying home, taking time, like we are, to walk in the middle of the day?

I probably listen more closely to these children than to anyone else. They are excited about what they are sharing with me, unabashedly seeking confirmation and validation. Their thoughts and feelings haven’t been censored to the extent that they will be when they experience more of the challenging bits of life. So they are honest and fresh. And being with them is a tremendous source of fulfillment for me. Not surprising, since Connection is my Life Purpose.

These children are a conduit to a wonderful world of observation that’s not muddied by a major overlay of prejudgment. Or tainted by that enemy of the adult, taking the familiar for granted. That ability to observe newly, I think, is the foundation of creativity.

How about you? Can you step back and allow yourself to become child-like? (Not talking childish here…huge difference!) If so, what stirs in you? And how does it relate to living your own Life Purpose?

If we’ve already worked together, you know what your Life Purpose is. If we haven’t, you can get some ideas using my free workbook, Exploring Common Threads. You can sign up to the right of this post, and have it sent to your very own computer. It’s a great place to start this creative exploration!

Independence Day

Independence Day

This week, we in the US celebrated Independence Day.Fireworks

Barbecues and fireworks are what we typically associate with the Fourth of July. This year, spanning the entire weekend, random neighbors were setting off personal fireworks. I didn’t get much sleep; our poor dog was traumatized, and trying to be a good ‘mom,’ I attempted to soothe her. Curled on the couch with this panting, quivering pet gave me a chance to think a bit about the whole concept of independence—of freedom.

Back in 1776, those upstart colonists, chafing under British colonial rule, declared their independence from King George, and spent the next seven years fighting the American revolutionary war.

Fast forward 240 years. We are no longer subjects of the British crown. Instead, we are subjects of governmental and financial systems, often run amok. The political canvas in this election year is painted in the most ludicrous, garish colors I’ve ever encountered. But this isn’t a political rant—nope, not going there!

What it does make me consider, though, is what Stephen Covey described in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People as our Circle of Concern and our Circle of Influence. Our Circle of Concern consists of those events and circumstances over which we have no control. The hateful, violent tragedies that seem to have become almost commonplace occurrences are in my Circle of Concern. They grieve me deeply, and I can’t control them.

What l can control, however, is what lies in my Circle of Influence. This, for me, is where freedom actively impacts my daily life. The choices I make, the words I speak (both to others and to myself), and the kindness I show—all of these are in my Circle of Influence. I can make a difference, right here, right now, to each person who interacts with me.

We all have this freedom of choice.

And this freedom can lead to living our Life Purpose, collecting those experiences that will fulfill us, and make life better for those in our Circle of Influence. Or it can lead to squandering these priceless, irreplaceable days of our life on earth.

To quote Mary Oliver:

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

 

Magic

Magic

‘Magic.’

This is yesterday’s prompt from Vanessa Sage’s Instagram challenge*, ‘Enchant Your Everyday.’

Since I tend to run a bit behind, this was the word (a day late) that was on my mind this morning when I grabbed my phone and set out to walk the dog. I was actively looking for the magic. And here is what appeared:

Mountains in the Morning Mist

While this image doesn’t really capture the beauty of the reality, maybe you can get a feel for the ethereal—almost mystical—atmosphere it evoked.

This experience once again reinforced something I know to be true, but which I forget so easily. Magic is all around us. We just have to be present enough to notice it, to acknowledge it, and to appreciate it. It can appear in the form of natural beauty, an arm around your shoulders, an encouraging word, or the wagging tail of a pet who is so excited to see you she can hardly stand still.

And it came to me in quite a profound way with the understanding and awareness of my life purpose. Knowing who I am here to be, and doing my best to live that purpose actively and intentionally, has been nothing short of magical. And acting as a conduit of that clarity for others has been a remarkable gift.

How about you? Where do you find the magic in your life?

*An Instagram challenge is an invitation to post a picture every day, based on a prompt or a concept. If you’d like to join in the fun of Vanessa’s challenge, visit vanessasagelife on Instagram.

 

 

 

The Beauty of Natural Diversity

Natural Diversity

Photo by Joan Gallant Dooley

Photo by Joan Gallant Dooley

When my friend, Joan Dooley, posted this beautiful photograph on Facebook, I was amazed to learn that these eggs weren’t dyed for Easter. Each of them has its own distinctive, natural color.

It struck me that there is a message here about our own ‘natural colors.’

Our hands, our spirits, our creative process—each of us is unique. We are not like those mass-produced white eggs of uniform size, residing in styrofoam boxes in the refrigerated section of the supermarket, bred for mass consumption.

What is your ‘natural color’? What one-of-a-kind traits are you here to share?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is There an Objective Way to Know My Life Purpose?

Is There an Objective Way to Know My Life Purpose?

How long, and in what way, have you been searching for your Life Purpose?

I spent literally decades reading self-help books and taking courses and programs designed to help me discern mine. I specifically remember starting this quest back inIMG_1546 1985, when I was on jury duty and using the ‘down time’ to read two wonderful books: Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow by Marsha Sinetar and Wishcraft by Barbara Sher.

Fifteen years earlier, I had gotten my first full-time job and had begun to support myself. At that point, the idea of doing what I loved for a living seemed terribly impractical. Those days in my early twenties were spent going to work, taking a night class or two to keep edging towards a college degree, and looking for Mr. Right. My job was pleasant, and the idea of pursuing a passion or finding my purpose just wasn’t on my radar.

After reading those books, though, I realized I hadn’t thought enough about what I loved to really know what it was. I also equated doing what I loved with living my Life Purpose. This was frightening, because I worried that doing what I loved–once I figured it out–wouldn’t pay the bills. At the same time, I reasoned that if I weren’t doing what I loved, I wouldn’t be living my Life Purpose. I felt a lot of pressure around this whole question, and started reading more, journaling more, and spending hundreds of dollars on courses to help me figure it out.

Everything described and contained in these courses and books was subjective. It all involved me doing more thinking, more reflecting, more talking. All of this gave me ideas and suspicions, and even a small degree of conviction, but it never completely answered the question in a way that gave me certainty (and peace).

Then, while editing an ezine, I found an article written by Master Hand Analyst Ronelle Coburn. We developed a relationship over the course of editing her article, and I learned that hand analysis could provide the answer to my 20-year-old question: Who am I here to be?

Ronelle explained that my Life Purpose is revealed in the patterns on my own fingertips. Our fingerprints are formed in utero; at the end of our fifth month of existence, they are already uniquely our own. And they hold the key to that basic life question.

For me, the answer lies in being the person who can establish loving relationships, make connections, maintain emotional authenticity, communicate, and help others to heal.

Who are you here to be?

What Life Purpose Is

What Life Purpose Is

My last post, What Life Purpose Isn’t, described some personal attributes that can be mistaken for Life Purpose. Our values, skills, aptitudes, likes and dislikes, careers, and goals can all be confused with Life Purpose.

So, if those important attributes aren’t Life Purpose, what is?

Your Life Purpose is who you are here to be. It is a state of consciousness that you yearn to inhabit. When you are dwelling in that state of consciousness, you translate that into what you do. This internal experience (being) requires external support (doing). When those two pieces are congruent, you are living your purpose. It’s a natural unfolding into ‘right life.’

In other words, that basic, intrinsic ME is demonstrated and realized in the actions you take. In order for you to be fulfilled in your purpose, there must be integrity between who you are designed to be on the inside and what you choose to do in the outside world.

Here’s an example. Assume that your Life Purpose is that of the Innovator. This Life Purpose involves being absolutely true to yourself, accepting your own unique way of seeing and doing, and sharing that unique perspective with others. You question the status quo, push for change, and stick to your out-of-the box thinking, regardless of pressure to conform. You work to develop an interaction style that honestly reflects your inner nature.

Orson Welles, Innovator

Orson Welles, Innovator

In order to live this Life Purpose, you have to be willing to share your unique ideas. You can’t be an Innovator unless you are actually engaging in innovation. Keeping quiet in the face of criticism, adopting only generally-accepted ways of doing things, constantly compromising in order to ‘fit in’—all of these actions sabotage your ability to live the Innovator purpose, because they take you out of integrity with yourself.

Living your Life Purpose means maintaining your personal integrity. Since life purpose is a consciousness to inhabit, rather than a set of external circumstances or a specific, relatively short-term goal, it means that it’s a process, a journey.

Every day, we have the chance to make the choices that reflect who we are here to be. When the internal being and external doing align, we are truly living our Life Purpose. And this is where our deepest fulfillment lies.